With any BDSM activity, a safe word is a MUST.
For those of you who are new to the game, a safe word is something the submissive can say to make all play instantly stop. It communicates that they are nearing or at their limits, or there is a problem that the Dominant needs to address.
There is no such thing as a BAD safe word. The only bad thing would be engaging in any BDSM game (light or otherwise) without one – and do not listen to those who say you “don’t need one.”
A GOOD safe word is something clear, easy to remember, and something you wouldn’t normally shout out in the middle of pillow play.
SOME COMMON SAFE WORDS
Most candidates on the list are no-brainers…
Stop, No, Safe Word, Safe, and Mercy. Even Red and Yellow are understandable because of the traffic light association.
Then we get into the next biggest category – FRUIT.
Specifically, Pineapple, Banana, Apple, and Orange.
Why are they popular? They are easy to remember, AND they are certainly not a word you would expect to hear, hence their effectiveness in making the top pay attention.
Finally, the odd kids of the family – Oklahoma, and Purple.
THE REDDIT THEORY: “Once you’ve hit Oklahoma, you know the good times are over.”
UNIQUE SAFEWORDS: Beetlejuice, Foliage, and Justin Beiber.
SAFEWORDS IN MOVIES AND TV
There are plenty of movies and tv shows that touch on this idea (some serious, some joking).
CSI, Saturday Night Live, Drew Cary Show, and Buffy Vampire Slayer, Team America: World Police, Simpsons, Castle, EuroTrip, Family Guy etc.
If you’re at work, and can’t watch (NSFW), don’t worry. I’ve included a quick overview of the scene.
“BANANA” FROM FAMILY GUY
THE RUNDOWN – Lois and Peter are having a responsible and highly “parental” conversation regarding their concerns about kids and drugs in school … all the while getting decked out in their BDSM gear.
“Flüggåɘnk∂čhiœßøl∫ên.” FROM EURO TRIP
THE RUNDOWN – The horniest member of the group runs to a dungeon in Amsterdam, where head Dominatrix (played by Lucy Lawless) passes him a paper with the safe word … which he ignores. When the sexy ladies leave, the male doms come out, and the scariness begins, Copper mispronounces the safe word.
The end result has him limping home. Obviously, it’s a poor example of SSC (safe, sane, consensual) practices and something a professional Dom would never let happen, but it’s still good for a giggle.
INSTANCES IN COMPUTER GAMES
Examples: Dishonored, Saints Row, Payday2, and Magicka (which is hilarious because Magicka is the least sexual game you could ever play, aside from candy crush or something. Remember, the safety word is “Banana”.)
However, Dragon Age: Inquisition is by far the most positive.
In the fantasy RPG, Dragon Age, you can choose which character you want to romance – and there is always some sort of sex/making love scene that follows. In my first playthrough, I chose the big, bulky warrior…
Turns out to be a relationship with BDSM aspects. +100 awesome points.
The scene that made me smile most was where they discussed “watchwords” (aka safe words) after one of their romps in bed – talking about the other characters in the game and what words these people might choose if they were in similar situations. The humorous aspects won’t be there unless you’ve played the game, but it’s still interesting to watch.
NSFW – the female character has her boobs out
USES IN WEBCOMICS
CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS
TWO GUYS AND GUY
- LARPING everyone must stop and listen to the coordinator – they would probably have to do it every 5 minutes because I could stay in character.
- Tapping out in martial arts. Harder to recognize because you’re already hitting someone.
- “Ceasefire” in war … probably because some idiot engaged in friendly fire.
- “Cut” in movies and television. I wonder if you said that to an actor in real life, they would stop talking … worth a try…
If you don’t like any safe words in this article, and you would prefer to find your own, there are tons of suggestions on the web.
Or you could look through this random letter word search and use the first thing that pops out at you. Mine was JELLY.
Have you found other awesome references to safe words in media? Do you have an interesting story about safe words you would like to share? Share in the comments!